We’re not getting a new cat for the family. Or a new kitten, even.
But you know how you’ll think of that perfect name – for a human, or a companion animal – and want so badly to share it with your friends but you’re afraid they’ll have a baby/get a pet and steal your name? When you thought of it all by yourself to begin with?
It’s in that spirit that I announce the name for a future cat. This cat will have to be female.
And she shall be Mrs. Danvers.
You see my husband is a tolerant-of-cats-person. He’s not a cat person per se. His relationship with our current pair of cats is fairly calm. Until, according to him, they provoke. They deliberately wait until he’s around to do something that they know will set him off. Like shredding that very important scrap of paper he removed from his pants pocket, set on the countertop in plain sight with nowhere to hide.
Sometimes a chase ensues. Words are most definitely exchanged. Very rarely there’s an attempt on his part to impose a punishment of some “time out” in the bathroom with the door closed. Until I tell him he’s responsible for cleaning up whatever mess is left behind, organic or inorganic.
To hear him tell it, the cats plot against him. I’m not saying he’s entirely wrong, but I think he lets them play him a little bit. And he’s smarter than that.
Since he still tolerates cats, I feel pretty safe in saying that I’ll always have a cat in my life. I don’t foresee myself having to choose between a spouse and a feline. But, the sweet little names will no longer do. And so our next cat shall be Mrs. Danvers.
There. Dibs! None of you amongst my acquaintance may use that name for your own felines. Other species will be excepted; but seriously, if you’re naming your turtle Mrs. Danvers and accusing her of plotting against you, you may be in line for a psychiatric assessment.
Now that the name is nailed down, I just have to pray that our current cats live long enough for our child to understand the complicated relationship between his father and the kitties; because no parent should have to answer the question, “why do grown-ups always laugh when I tell them the cat’s name?”